And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. The results come in stages. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. 13/12/2020 20:45. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. Soon, the doctor came and inserted the tablets that would induce labour. It was positive, and I felt elated. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. 26/09/2019 22:46. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. This publication is licensed under the terms of the Open Government Licence v3.0 except where otherwise stated. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. I was disgusted - disgusted that such a tablet existed, let alone that I should have to take it. I had an appointment with my consultant 2 days later, and again he said, you know, 'Very common - shouldn't worry about it too much, you know, if, the problem is if they find anything else wrong'. The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see '. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. So carried on with the plans, and, you know, planning for the, another baby to come along and then we went for a 20- week scan which is obviously the big one and very exciting, seeing all the arms and legs and once again everything was going fine, 'Look here's the baby, here's the length of baby'. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. We'll make an appointment with the senior sonographer, the consultant at the local hospital, and she'll do your scan and she'll be able to tell you more things'. So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. It took 20 minutes to push him out. And it all seemed so near at hand, you know, 31, 30 weeks, you feel like you're nearly, you're on the home stretch. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. We walked all the way home. During the examination, sonographers need to keep the screen in a position that gives them a good view of your baby. So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. He had to come to the decision by himself. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. 'I was having nightmares and panic attacks. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. Just doing it. I had to be rescanned latter. And having read, since read my information on Edwards' syndrome, a good 85 per cent have problems with the heart. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. For example, the babys brain, kidneys, internal organs or bones may not have developed properly. Fine, go on my own. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. Some people want to find out if their baby has one of the 11 conditions and some do not. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. I mean the lady who was scanning was very quiet for a long time. . So it was quite common, this is what happens. And how wrong could they be? And I felt like a murderer. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. When I see a child with Down's syndrome, I have a tremendous need to explain myself and apologise a million times over. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. Seeing your baby on a screen can be really exciting. This might be uncomfortable. But that was too easy. Why me and not you, you bastard? We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. So choroid plexus cysts on their own, no problem, but if there's something else wrong, then that's a problem. To view this licence, visit nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3 or write to the Information Policy Team, The National Archives, Kew, London TW9 4DU, or email: psi@nationalarchives.gov.uk. Which is what I'd seen. That's fine. And of course some other measurements she needed to take like the width of the skull, which she couldn't take because the fetus was in the wrong position. So we decided that, to have the scan and we went along I think early in the week for that, and spent quite a lot of time with the consultant after that. Then I picked myself up. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. We use some essential cookies to make this website work. Last reviewed July 2017. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. I was becoming numb to the whole process. A black and white picture of your baby will then be seen on the ultrasound screen. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. The "why me?" Tears started to roll down my face. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. But the closeness has remained after the drama has died down. And you could see, where you should have a picture of 4 chambers, you could really see 2. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . It is as though our pain means we've earned the right to be taken more seriously. It was far too much power; neither of us wanted it. Saturday came. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. Never being able to look after himself. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. Try to relax and take it easy. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? I had no issues at my 20wk scan with DD - and neither did any of my antenatal group (9 mums). Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. And I went for, I went for a normal 12-week scan, at my local hospital and everything, they said everything was fine, there was no problem. I'm trying to understand because I haven't seen a 3-D scan, what it tells the parents? I was wondering if anyone has been is this situation and can give me a glimmer of hope. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. I feel empty and incomplete. And still we asked to see a, Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans. I know it is still early days. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and over again. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . It felt as if we had gone power crazy. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. And for that whole time, my partner and I were both crying uncontrollably. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. We'd sort of put those discussions to the back of our mind, and then all of a sudden there are other abnormalities so yeah it was a bit a bit of a shocker [laughs]. For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. And I knew there was no way out. She brought up a picture of the heart on the screen. The hardest thing I have ever done. And, sometimes, I wish I had invited my whole family into the hospital room to see him. All women are offered a dating scan, and an 18- 20 week fetal anomaly ultrasound scan, in line with NICE and UK National Screening Committee recommendations. Where we were living then at the time you only had a scan at 20 weeks. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. Nights were impossible. 12/12/2012 22:41. I then had to wait in the room along with many other patients for an hour so they could observe me. I should stop being dramatic and pessimistic. I felt I needed proof of what was wrong before I take such a huge decision and that I couldn't do it based on what someone had written on, on the paper. And I remember, the first thing I remember when something might be wrong, was I saw, I finally, we finally saw an image of the skull on the screen, and there appeared to be a sort of black hole shape in the middle. An hour passed and I started to panic. I agreed to an internal scan as the sonographer said we could get a better picture of what was happening. The following is a quote from their report: If the scan reveals either a suspected or confirmed abnormality, the woman should be informed by the sonographer at the time of the scan. And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. I am a darker, harder version of myself. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. We're going to go and see them. We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. We don't know, but it's not looking good'. The scan will look in detail at your babys bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. factor is very strong. Well send you a link to a feedback form. And that was Monday afternoon. Never lacking a sense of the dramatic, it felt as if we shared the responsibility for the terrible, dirty act that we had committed. In a small number of cases some very serious conditions are found. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. From losing my dad to his battle with cancer, to then having to face another battle with cancer and my mum; thankfully she pulled though. My partner watched the baby come out, and for a split second I saw a look of joy on his face. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). So I trusted him.
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